“A Non-Meeting at a Coffee Shop”

I saw you at the coffee shop.
If you’re anything like the observer and people-watcher you claim to be,
It was you who saw me first, right when you walked in.
Because you saw me and didn’t approach, I did the same to you.

Pride: my downfall.

You left without saying anything.
I don’t know what I’ve done to make you avoid me.
I know if I ask you
You’ll just answer that I haven’t done anything.
Maybe you don’t know yourself what I’ve done,
Maybe it has more to do with you than with me.

Maybe you would rather an illusory isolation than a real connection with another,
A connection that would force you to dig beneath the surface and become honest about what you feel.
Your isolation affects me deeply while allowing you the comfort of ignoring your feelings,
Because I am someone who feels and you are someone who thinks.
But I think as well, though not always very well or sanely,
And you feel as well, though maybe you wish you didn’t.

If you are going to break off all contact with me,
Then do it.
But don’t avoid and then deny you are avoiding.
Because that’s bullshit.
Cut it off and give a reason, or say you don’t know, which would at least be honest.
I can’t have these in-between relationships, these surface relationships, these false relationships.

Either there is a meaningful connection,
Or there is no connection at all.
I used to think it was the former,
But I guess I was wrong.

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